Last night in the pub, he mentioned this phrase he found: On LinkedIn, you’re connected to the people you went to school with. On Twitter, you follow the people you wish you’d gone to school with. “And on Facebook,” my friend added, “you call the whole world ‘friends’, and you update them on what’s going on in your life, mainly by referring to likeable stuff online, because that is a lot more exciting than your everyday issues and ventures. Oh, and the whole thing is eating up quite some time out of your daily schedule, too! But that’s ok, because you didn’t have anything interesting planned to begin with, did you?”
He asked: “How many people wake up in the morning, thinking: ‘What am I going to do today, that will look great on Facebook?’ Social media create a reality of their own, where only appearances count – it has nothing to do with the stuff real life is made up of: eating, drinking, fucking, working, not to mention suffering. Why the hell should I care that some asshole I vaguely know found a funny movie clip on some website? A monkey can do better than that. Get a life, god damn it!”
Bottom line: “Some day you figure out that you don’t have that many friends (and the ones you have wouldn’t borrow you a penny), your life is dead boring, and you’re wasting all this time to prove it to the world, over and over again. It’s depressing. Big business ahead for the mental industry. I will tell my shrink to offer his services right there on Facebook!”
“Jesus, I need an unlike button, just for Facebook,” my friend told the bartender, his trembling right index finger suspended in mid-air.
With friends and pubs like these, who needs social media?